I know its February already but I’ll be honest with you, I felt like this year hadn’t really started the way I wanted and I was kind of stuck in 2017, trying to work out what my goals were for 2018. I could have stayed wrapped up in a no routine, late night, slouchy clothes and left over Christmas food kind of world for longer…

 

Last week I was thinking about my business goals for 2018, I looked in the mirror at myself and squinted my eyes up so my vision was a bit blurred and tried to see if I recognised the person in the reflection. She looked tired, but more than that she looked like she was wearing a mask that she was tired of wearing. In an instant and just for a split second I saw a girl who wanted everyone to like her, a girl who always behaved and who always said what other people wanted to hear. I felt sad, and then I felt like this was an opportunity to look a little deeper into the mirror and face a few truths.

 

I gave myself some time to really think, dream and journal about what I want to create this year, in my business, family life and personally. After lots of moments of thinking I’d found the answer I realised I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to achieve or write a fancy strategy for. In fact, the more I tried to find my mojo, my sparkly moment of clarity, the more desperate and lost I became.

 

I love what I do but I want to evolve in to my birth work not force it to appear around me. It’s important I earn a living and contribute to the family budget but not at the price of a passionless and empty antenatal course or birth planning session. So I wanted to remind myself about what makes me come to life? What excites me? What do I love doing the most? That was an easier way to look at things!

 

I realised that it’s super essential to me that I work on a 1:1 basis with my couples and offer that personal and intimate experience. When I work with a couple it’s usually over a month to 4 months and in that time I absolutely connect with and commit to them. Being able to walk side by side with a couple on their pregnancy journey, watching their growth and nurturing their confidence and trust is where it’s at for me!

 

That led me to look at what services I wanted to expand this year and a couple stood out for me my Birth Doula work and my Hypnobirthing & Birth Coaching Sessions.

 

Also important to me this year is that I do EVERYTHING with integrity and authenticity. I have made a habit over the years (as we all do) of believing the stories we tell about ourselves, you know ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I don’t have time to do that’ ‘People will not want to listen to me, what do I know anyway!?’ etc etc… These statements have been on replay for too long now and they are not serving me anymore, or allowing me to show up fully for my couples.

 

When I ‘be’ the authentic me and strip away the stories and layers of doubt, I’m left with a new feeling, it pervades my whole body and mind and tells me that THIS is how I should be living! It’s like mindlessly channel hopping on TV in a trance for ages and ages and finally finding that programme that you L O V E and you’re like YES!! This is it, this is totally for me! I’ve found it!

 

So I know loosely what I want to ‘do’ and I know how and who I want to ‘be’…

 

With this in mind I am dipping my toes in to a whole new world of connecting with my audience. It’s not easy, I’ve got to shift through the uncomfortable stuff like admitting I don’t have everything planned and that I get it wrong sometimes, also that I enjoy a box set binge on Netflix, that I get nervous about speaking in front of big groups of people and that I should wash my hair and change the bed clothes more often and other stuff…

 

Basically it’s permission to be vulnerable, to be true to myself and that that is enough. I don’t have to sparkle and shine every day or be hitting targets and smashing goals to be successful. Its permission to be me and attract people who resonate with my message, women and couples that want to work with me because they deeply feel what I’m saying and want a piece of it for themselves.

 

I hope that when I share the content of my mind, you will feel aligned with it and maybe even laugh and cry along with me too sometimes. We are after all just a mirror for each other, a reflection of each other’s hopes, dreams, fears, experiences and desires right?

 

I’m super excited as I embark on this mother of all honesty and authenticity trips, so please be gentle and supportive and please do watch along with me as I kind of slow waltz my way through 2018, pretending to know where I’m headed and gently leaning into the idea that being me is enough!